Confessions of Me, the Lap Counter

Posted on April 10, 2011


Gulp, gulp, 11, 13, 15, 17….geez, when will it end?

Yep, you guessed it. I am the lonely plastic lap counter that everyone uses and abuses, even parents, who, from time to time don’t know how to use me or even have issues counting with odd numbers. My world is filled with lonely dark nights stuck in the shed or storage cabinet, drip drying with the chloriny smell and talk about being sun-damaged, whew! Can you even get sunblock for a lap counter?

Day after day, resting in my home until someone needs me, then to be rushed to the side of the pool and dropped off like old clothes at the salvation center. Waiting and waiting, hmm.


Next up? I think I hear, the 500’s may be near.
My ears pick up, my limbs are starting to stretch,
Someone even hit me in my rear!

It’s my time! Time to get to work, time to count,
Well I should say, have “an approved” lap counting person help me out.

Put me in darn it! Why wait until number 3? I have a number 1 you know!

That’s why I love the parents. They love the number 1. So I get flipped, and flipped, and flipped. No one ever thought of giving me an even “second” number? Weirdos!? Who in the world counts like that? Uh let’s see, if I was playing hide-in-seek, it would be 7, 5, 3, 1, ready or not hear I come!!  What in the heck is that?   One day they will learn I can thrive with all my numbers, go to new heights, count for almost anything if I put my mind to it!  So why not! Come on Nike, Speedo, Hind, Dolfin, Arena, TYR…let’s get something fresh going, let’s start a counting revolution.

Oh, Ol’ fuddy duddies! One day the young guys will get you!

When I’m done, somehow I sit on the side of the pool until clean up. In the sun, NO SUNBLOCK! I really need to be pampered. Why could’t I have grown up as a NASA Space Center countdown counter, or a pace clock, or even a digital pace clock. You know I came up with that idea. I just didn’t have any legs to pursue it. …I Joke.

Oh well, one day, I will speak my word to all of YOU and you will see what I am talking about!